Dream Car

A few weeks ago I was driving home and a shiny, low-profile, silver car zoomed by me in the opposite lane. I instinctively turned my head and watched it pass, only having a split second due to the fact his direction was clear, and mine was less so.

It was then that I thought "I think I know what my dream car is." After Googling for a while, I confirmed that I'm not alone, and that some people have even taken that thought to the next level.

I want a Delorean, but I don't want a real one. I want a car with gull-wing doors, an electric/hybrid motor, modernized headlights, modernized interior, modernized suspension and modernized handling.

Back to the Future

Don't get me wrong; I'm not hating on this kind of machine. In fact, I wanted something like this for a long time! There's obviously the nostalgia element, but when you get right down to it, this isn't what I want to drive to work every day.

Aston Martin Bulldog (Concept Car)

Seeing that nice, clean, silver bullet shoot past me in traffic, I realized something like this is more what I'd like to spend my time driving. Sleek, sharp lines, no gimmicks or extras on the outside.

Obviously, the Bulldog isn't modernized, so lets bring in something that is. I've seen Audis with this style of headlight, too, but I can't deny the envy I feel when I see these in my rear-view:

Tesla Model S

This vehicle also has the advantage of representing one of my other desires: it's electric.

Random Delorean Concept

As I've said, I'm not the only person who dreams of gullwings and stainless. Here's a concept art that wraps the current "Honeycomb" grill trend in with some of the "modern muscle car" lines.







So, anyway, I look forward to when I become rich and can afford to have a team of engineers design and build me a Revival Delorean. I hope by then I can actually articulate what I want instead of buzzwords and images slapped onto a webpage :)

A Little Ditty

To the tune of http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9J9KRZ0PnAs

Ted Cruz despises Obamacare
At least all his people tell him so
And while he agrees with Affordable Healthcare
He's sure Obama's not way to go.
But a lifeline of campaign funds is a great form of attraction
It's great not having to think anymore

Ted Cruz is Ted Cruz crazy
Just be glad it's him not you
If you had Ted Cruz's troubles
You might be Ted Cruz crazy too
You'd flash your big white shiny smile
You'd buy expensive shoes
But you'd be the only man on Earth
Who always believes Ted Cruz
Oh yea, you'd always believe Ted Cruz

Ted Cruz is always getting bolder
He knows he'll never answer for his sins
And when Ted Cruz looks back over his shoulder
He sees the Tea Party screaming again
He knows someday he'll get to play
A young and hopeful prospect
While someone older plays his wise aid.

Ted Cruz is Ted Cruz crazy
Just be glad it's him not you
If you had Ted Cruz's troubles
You might be Ted Cruz crazy too
You'd flash your big white shiny smile
You'd buy expensive shoes
But you'd be the only man on Earth
Who always believes Ted Cruz
Oh yea, you'd always believe Ted Cruz

Ted Cruz hopes somewhere there's a place for him
'Cause he's not of this world anymore...

In DC in a spotlight of his creation
Ted Cruz stands yelling at the wall
And the outside world means nothing in delusion
He'll tell you anything at all
There are millions who know his name
Some people believe him
Why is it they never learn?

Ted Cruz is Ted Cruz crazy
Just be glad it's him not you
If you had Ted Cruz's troubles
You might be Ted Cruz crazy too
You'd flash your big white shiny smile
You'd buy expensive shoes
But you'd be the only man on Earth
Who always believes Ted Cruz
Oh yea, you'd always believe Ted Cruz

Programming a Human

I think in strange paradigms. This morning I reflected that when Lucas was born I said things like "I wanted a kid so that I could program him!" This elicited comments like "The launch OS is a little buggy, needs to reboot a lot" and "what language do you program a baby with?" Obviously, the answer to that is "I'll be using a lot of java, and he'll get some byte code."

Anyway, after a moment, I realized that I HAVE been programming him, but the difference between him and a normal program is that I've been creating a machine that can program others.

Or, at least, exploit the programming of others.

Humans have a concept of social norms, things that offer nominal or no value to the creation or rendering of goods or services, but have a huge psychological impact on us. For example: "Please" and "Thank you."

"Please" offers very little in the way of advancing the topic of conversation forward, but is a psychological hack that people utilize to get what they want. Think about it; how often have you used the word "Please" after making a demand so that the other person feels like they have a choice?

"Thank you" is a bit different; when my dad and I went hunting, we'd handle very sharp knives, occasionally with gloved hands. When we'd hand a knife to one another, "Thank you" would be the expression we used to signify that "I have control of the knife now, you can let go." In addition, "Thank you" can be used to signify the end of a conversation, or the termination of a message.

But it's also a hack. One can say "Thank you," and turn away from another before they've had a chance to retort, or even reply. The listener might feel slighted, but less so than if "Thank you" hadn't been said.

Why am I talking about all of this? Back to Lucas; he's aware of these words, and uses them frequently, along with a few other normative expressions like "Sorry." These are some of his first concepts, the building blocks he'll develop the rest of his communication on.

I'm raising a little social engineer, and I'm a proud daddy.

My First Political Post

Members of the House of Representatives and the Senate cannot be "Fired" or in any way removed from office. Americans have only two legal mechanisms to remove any politician: a process called "Recall Election" and a process most Americans are vaguely aware of, Impeachment.

Impeachment can only be brought upon: "The President, Vice President, and all civil officers of the United States." There is conflicting definitions on whether or not Senators or Representatives even qualify as "Civil officers," and additionally, only The House of Representatives can submit claims warranting impeachment, and only the Senate can try/convict. Normal Americans have very little, if any, ability to initiate or even call for an Impeachment.

Recall Elections are very limited; it is only allowed at the state level in 18 states and at the local level by 29 states. This means that it is impossible to petition for a Recall Election of any Federal-level politician.

What does this mean, exactly? It means that the Senators (100) and the Representatives (435) cannot be removed from office, and realistically neither can the President (1), Vice President (1), and the Cabinet (15) are also basically untouchable.

So, these 552 folks that basically have nothing to fear about their position for at least 2 years, and as many as 6 for Senators.

That sounds a little scary, but we can trust these people, right? We VOTED for them! They're the best, brightest, and most equipped for handling things that, potentially, impact every other American!

Well, maybe. But they're human, and humans have flaws, not he least of which is Greed. Lets take that number and extrapolate a hypothetical.

I'm a corporation with a quarterly earnings of $6.9 billion, and I'd like to ensure that I have the ear of a few politicians. Nothing ILLEGAL, mind you; just that when I call and want to talk about the weather, or how their family is doing, or how that latest bill is looking to impact my industry, that they'll have some time for me! What would it cost me if I wanted to contribute $1 million to a few of those 552 people's campaign efforts?

8% of my QUARTERLY earnings. FOR EVERY.SINGLE.POLITICIAN.

You know, nothing major or shady about that; it's just a million bucks! I mean, that Barely buys a prime-time comercial these days!. I should know; I'm a multi-national corporation! However, maybe if a few candidates are REALLY nice to me, I can throw in a free commercial on my affiliate network, or tell my news company that you're a stand-up guy!

Now, I'm not saying that happens or anything, but I'm saying that... oh, what is a Special Limit? And is there a limit they can give to a National Party Committee member? There's a lot of Greed out there, and not a whole lot of people are immune.

552 people control every federal law and regulation. What was the size of your graduating class?

A Parental Post

This will have nothing at all to do with technology, games, or anything else I usually post about. This is about being "Dad." One of my friends from work hosted his son's birthday party at a place called Wiggleworks tonight. He reserved the party area, but the play area was still open to the public, so I don't know exactly which kids were part of the party, or which were there to play. But holy moly, did I realize how lucky Lis and I are. I've never been more proud of my kid than tonight. From the time we arrived until the time we left, you'd have thought that Lucas was the Patron Saint of Saintliness. He took turns with the other kids, he played on his own in the areas Lis and I couldn't go, he helped other kids take their turns, he didn't yell or scream when another kid took his balloon or ball. When it was time for cake, he stopped playing and came with us to the kids table, sat quietly and ate his snack while everyone else was running around, throwing chairs(!!), screaming, and stealing his food. No shit, not once but twice another kid came up to him, took a grape off his plate, and scurried off with it. I asked both of the kids if they wanted grapes as they were walking away, and they looked at me... and just paused. I'm no child psychologist, but their reaction told me MY reaction was not what the expected. They waited for another second for me to react, or grab them, or yell, or something, but finally they just shook their heads "no" and walked away. Both kids, same reaction. Interesting. Lucas, however, was unphased. He noticed, absolutely, and watched the kids as they walked away with his snack, but he had more, and Daddy was talking to the other kid, so he was cool. He drank from his juice box like a BOSS, no squeezing or spilling (and he hasn't had one in MONTHS), and when it came time to eat his cake, he used a fork, ate in pieces, and stopped before he gorged himself. Except for the birthday boy, who was also a well-behaved BOSS, Lucas was well beyond his years. Oh, Lucas isn't 2-years-old yet. I'm super duper proud.

Kickstarter Anonymous

Hello, my name is Jeremy, and I have a problem.

On May 4th, 2012 I discovered a website called Kickstarter.com for the first time. I don't recall exactly what lead me there, it was either my brother-in-law +Dan Van Der Werf or the guys over at Penny Arcade, but the end result was the same; I got hooked.

The first project I backed was Zombicide, for $140... and then Serpent's Tongue for $175, and then it just kept going.  By the end of 2012, I had Kickstarted 21 projects and invested over $1,300.

Lis and I have decided that my addiction to helping people realize their dreams (and my addiction to acquisition of shiny fun things) must be quelled.  So, I've began pressing the "Watch" button instead of the "Pledge" button.

This worked for the first few projects, but my brain is beginning to realize that "Watch" does not result in people getting their projects off the ground, nor will it continue to stock my shelves with awesome.

This is where you come in; I've built a rudimentary Kickstarter Wish List, accessible on the right-hand menu, that you can help fuel my horrible, horrible addiction and keep Lis and I out of the poor house!

You could also use that page as a guide to TOTALLY AWESOME PROJECTS YOU SHOULD TOTALLY BACK, but isn't it more fun to watch someone struggle futilely against an addiction?

When a Plan Comes Together

As many of the visitors of becomemagi.com know, I started coding for Serpent's Tongue when the team behind the game released a full-ink playtest set that I couldn't afford to use.  I created a tool that allowed me to enter the data from the cards into a spreadsheet in Google Drive, export as a CSV, and then import it into a PHP tool that essentially read the file and wrote HTML/CSS so that the cards looked... usable.

That early tool was the start... and now we're getting close to the finish, I'm actually doing the exact opposite.  I've created a process that takes the data out of our DB, spits it into a CSV file, and the allows our designer, +Jere Kasanen, to bring that file into InDesign for final adjustments and PDF preparations before we send to China.

The most incredible thing about this process is that... it took about 10 minutes of trial and error for the entire thing to essentially "Click" into place.  The process is SMOOTH and simple.

And that's astounding because not only have Jere and I never met, we live at almost opposite sides of the world (he's in Finland, +2 GMT, and I'm in Washington State, -8 GMT).

The file I export has 65 data fields per record; These are some COMPLEX cards, and Jere's template must look insane (I don't have InDesign, so I'm exporting data essentially blindly for him, another reason it's amazing the workflow even works).

Anyway, nothing mind blowing to write about tonight.  Laptop is settling into my life nicely :)

New Laptop, Same OS

The new Acer got here today, and I'm pleased to say I don't miss True HD (1920x1080).  This 17" behemoth running 1600x900 is A-OK by me, and given what I HAVE been playing video games with, I think I'll be ok there, too.

But, I did cheat.  I've been running a Solid State, SATA III 120GB drive in my PC for a while now, waiting for the day I'd have a machine that actually HAS SATA III.  Guess what?  This Acer now boots in 10 seconds, and since it has a 2nd HDD bay, I still have my 1TB of storage :)

But, to do it, I had to re-install Windows to the new drive.  I played around with Windows 8 beforehand, though... I guess it's not designed for me.  I hated it.  I'll elaborate a bit, but I couldn't see a single reason I'd want it.

Firstly, I'm jaded.  When I installed Windows 7, I was expecting the same old thing.  Within 10 minutes I had been confused by something and decided to give Windows Help a shot... and it WORKED.  I then noticed the search box in the start menu, and launched Chrome with 2 key strokes.  I had heard about docking windows with Windows Key + arrow, and tried it, and it was SMOOTH.

So, tl;dr: Windows 7 made me smile 3 times in the first 10 minutes.

Windows 8 made me frustrated 5 times in as many minutes.  First, I used IE from the Home Menu to go out to Chrome's website and kick off its download.  I think I hit escape, or windows key, or something and it ended up taking me to the Windows Desktop, which was jarring as hell because I thought Windows8 was JUST that start menu interface.  Anyway, I wanted to get back to my Chrome download, so I opened IE from the taskbar... only to find that it was a totally different IE.  What the hell?  I installed it and tapped the Windows key and started typing "CH..." like I'm used to, only to find that the new Start Menu came back (it was at THIS point I realized that the blocky interface was ACTUALLY the new Start Menu, not just some overlay thing).

"Great!  It's got a nice search interface, I can dig that."  I thought, until I wanted to see why my mouse side-scroll wasn't working.  I did what I would on Win7: tap the Windows key and type "mouse," only to see that it found no results... because Win8 doesn't search ANYTHING except for apps by default.

So, first Microsoft borrows one of Apples biggest boons, Spotlight Search, and then tries to improve on it by... splitting it up?  I don't understand it.

I never found out how to just enable the extra touchpad features.  Why?  Because when I went into the settings screen to try and adjust the Search and Mouse and whatever else settings, I realized I was stuck in an infinite loop.  I could either go to the useless start menu, or to the settings.  There was no close, no save, no cancel, no X, no NOTHING to get rid of it.  I eventually just started a random app in hopes it would bring me back to the Desktop.

Ugh.  It was at this point I tried to shut down, only to realize it was IN THE SAME CURSED SETTINGS AREA.  The next time the computer booted it was to a Windows 7 Install disk.

On the Hardware

I'm digging almost everything about this laptop so far.  The exception is that I keep nudging the touchpad.  I'm sure I'll condition myself soon to avoid it, but it's made for some tricky typing so far.

I do miss the Tracking Nub, and the backlit keyboard, but I think I'll adapt to those as well.  All-in-all, a frakin' AWESOME rig for $850!

The Land of the Living

I'm going to end this post with the content relevant to the post title, but I thought I'd start with an update about Serpent's Tongue.  We're really coming into the last phase of the project, and part of it is ensuring we have the absolute highest resolution images from our artists possible.

To this end, I built a feature into the tool tonight that lets our admin folks update the art pieces in-place in the Flare Card Network (FCN).  This may not sound like a huge deal, but updating the art also means:

- Updating 3 different sizes of static thumbnails
- Updating an unknown number of cards USING that art piece
- Potentially updating other meta-data at the same time (art name, artist name, etc)

So, it was a bit of a task, but it SHOULD help us facilitate a much faster export process into InDesign.

Additionally, I discovered that as a part of Wordpress's Plugin Install process (Which I have to use instead of the update process since I don't have the FCN on Wordpresses official SVN system), I CAN run ALTER statements for my tables.  Just leaving myself a little note here :)

I also did a number of very late fixes and updates for Nintendo while home sick.  Sick, ah yes, the post title. I think I'll just give you this; it's the email I sent to my boss this morning.  Enjoy.

I'll spare ya'll the details, but I feel I should recap.

Thursday morning, coworker dropped off toddler daughter for Lis to watch like normal.  I was still feeling achy, stuffy, and all around poor. 

Thursday afternoon, I visited the doctor, who thought that I had a sinus infection that I've been fighting (and consistently losing against) for the last few weeks.  He prescribed antibiotics, which I began Thursday evening.

Friday I stayed home, being aware now that I was contagious with the Sinus Infection From Hell.  Sometime during the day we received a call from coworker letting us know that their daughter likely had the stomach flu.

Friday night around 3am I was the 2^nd sickest I've ever been in my life, beaten only by the food poisoning I had when I was 16 which legitimately almost killed me.  Through a combination of the stomach flu, side-effects from the antibiotics and ongoing sinus infection compounded by my acid reflux, I had about an hour (apprx. 10 minutes real time) where I thought I was bound for either the ER or the grave. Thank you to whomever invented the Nurse Line, however, as they were able to give Lis advice and signs to watch for, none of which appeared, so an ER trip was avoided.  Also, the antibiotics were ceased until the stomach flu decided to vacate.

SO, I'm home today.  I'm actually feeling quite a bit better, but I know I'm carrying at least 2 diseases which would not be enjoyable to anyone.  I'm going to re-start the antibiotics tonight, so tomorrow I should back in and at least not spreading the Black Plague, as it's now known in the house.

Sorry for the delays and lack of communication about my status; as I can actually look at a glowing screen today without getting dizzy, I'm going to be playing catch-up with my emails and working on whatever I can while draining Gatorade and devouring soup-based food :)

Last few days of the Dell Latitude

For the last few months I've been using my work-provided laptop as my home laptop.  Generally, this is frowned upon as it is property of the company, but I really don't do anything on it besides browse, chat, and work anyway, so it's not a huge deal.  However, I may soon be doing side-jobs that pay real cash monies, and doing that kind of work on the Nintendo machine would be more than frowned upon.  So, I ordered a new laptop.

As I wait for the machine to be delivered (For those curious, it's an Acer Aspire V3), I'm spending the last few days using the Dell Latitude and trying to think of what will change.

First, and in my mind most importantly, the Latitude has a Pointing Stick, which I use almost exclusively over the normal touch-pad.  If you've never used one, or used one and hated it, let me explain why they are oh-so-very-useful: you never need to move your hands off of the keyboard.  Need to click on something?  Move your right hand 1 inch over, use your pointer finger and a the precision pointing device, and then click with your thumb.  Very fast, very efficient.  And very nonexistent on most consumer laptops, including the Acer.  So, in most circumstances, I'll be re-familiarizing myself with a touch-pad.

Resolution will also be a change.  The Latitude runs at a paltry 1366x768, whereas the Acer runs 1600x900.  Now, most of the techy readers just raised an eyebrow.  "What, not 1920x1080?  NOT TRUE HIGH DEF?!"  No, not true High Def, and on a 17" screen I'm not sure how I'm going to like it, but the Acer was $850, and the closest machine I could find with true HD and comparable other specs was an Asus for $1,400.  Granted, that machine also had 2x the RAM and a 7200RPM HDD, so it was worth what it cost, but I couldn't bring myself to drop an extra $550.  We shall see if I can deal with the mid-resolution.

Windows 8.  This will be my first experience with the new OS, and I have a copy of Windows 7 ready in case it's as bad as some of my tech friends make it out to be.  Really, though, when you get right down to it, the only thing I need my OS to do is be compatible with the applications I want to run and get out of my way.

Not being connected to work.  This is something I'm of 2 minds on.  I really like being available to help, which I am 100% of the time when I'm working on the Latitude.  On the flip side, I can feel myself starting to get really, really burned out.  So, it'll be good to be able to shut down work and fire up a different machine for fun and side projects; I'll also likely still be bringing the Latitude home, so it can be on and sitting in a corner :)

Lastly: this will be MY computer, so I can install games and other crap on the machine as I please... I'm not sure what this will do to my productivity ;)

I'll report in on the new machine once it arrives and I have a chance to play, but that's all for now.

A Return To Blogging

Years and Years ago, I used LiveJournal for my mechanism for getting thoughts out of my head so that I could sleep at night.  Times changed, I grew up and moved on, and very few people I knew used it. So...

Years after that, I migrated away and over to Face Book, thinking that it's Notes feature would be all I ever need; it was easily shared to my friends, coworkers, and anyone who cared about the subjects I talked about.  But I quickly realized that some people who were "Friends" with me just didn't give a crap about the things I wrote about at length.

So, that brings us to now.  Blogger is a good option for me; it's fast post to, brought to the internets by the same folks who make my phone, preferred search engine, voice mail system, cloud storage system, video sharing system, geolocation/direction system.... and likely future robot overlords.

So, for now, I'll be posting thoughts here.  Will they be frequent?  Will they all be winners?  Will you give 2 craps about all of them?  I make no promises, but I will say this:

They will be posts.